Monday, 28 July 2014


I've been having a bit of a hard time lately. Even though I love my new job, I've been having trouble with adjusting to working full-time and at the side to keep doing all the things that I want to do and getting enough rest. As I've stated in an earlier post, my beloved old bike was run over by a truck last week. I bought a new one, which, after a stressful weekend, turned out to be stolen on Sunday night. I spent way more on that bike than I would normally do and I was insanely happy with it. The receipt for the bike was still in my bag when I discovered it was gone forever.

So, as you can imagine, I was very sad, stressed and mad when I woke up this morning and discovered that insane amounts of water were coming from the sky (and with insane I really mean insane; I picked the photo below from, a Dutch news website), and I would have to walk to my work, which takes me almost an hour. I'd had all this crap, and then this! Urgh. I wanted to crawl back into bed and never leave my house again.

(Amsterdam this morning, source:

And this, exactly this feeling, is a sign that I have to take action. Because it's a setback in my depression.
I recognized it and I remembered my therapist, who is usually really good in turning around my mood, and I wanted to try some of her tricks for myself. So I put up an advert on facebook for a new (preferably free) bike, and I tried to think something positive about the rain.

Amsterdam, source: Steeman

So I thought of how the rain was not only good, but necessary - feeding all the plants that dried out from the 2 week heatwave we just had so they could live. Water is essential for all life. 70% of the earth surface is covered in it and 70% of our own bodies is just water. Water flows through everything and connects us with the nature, the plants, the trees and the earth we live on.
According to most Pagan beliefs (which is NOT a satanistic religion, for more info about Paganism, view my previous post about this subject), water is one of the five 'elements' - elemental substances that cannot live without each other and need to be balanced in order to get a true harmony. So naturally, all of the heat and fire of the past few weeks desperately needed to be balanced with the other elements, hence the excessive amounts of water. I know about the scientific elements and I believe that the five Pagan elements are not merely substances but can better be seen as some kind of energy forces. And why shouldn't you enjoy these completely natural processes?

With that thought, and an optimistic heart, I went on my walk to my work. It was still raining very very badly but I left my umbrella and thick coat at home deliberately, took a dry shirt and a towel with me in my (water resistant) bag, and just went to walk in a thunderstorm for an hour. I closed my eyes most of the time. I listened to the sound of the rolling thunder and the sound of the rain hammering on the streets, the trees and the cars, and smelled the wonderful scent of wet grass and stone, which felt very relaxing. I didn't mind the rain in my face, or the fact that I was getting wetter than I had ever been in my life. It felt as if the rain washed away all the stress and misery that had heaped up in the past few weeks. It was just a very peaceful and refreshing walk and when I arrived at my work I felt so alive! I dried myself with my towel, put on another shirt and some makeup and was ready for another day at work.

I still feel glowy and refreshed from that walk in the morning.

And, I've just picked up a bike and it was free. I need to fix the back tire but otherwise it's ok!

Today was a good day.

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Happy Outfit: Expecto Patronum

Here I am again with another outfit post!

I think this dress reflects exactly what I'm trying to convey with my outfits.
When I finally wanted to overcome my depression and anxieties I promised myself that everything I wear must make me happy. It helps tremendously and over time my closet has filled itself with bright prints and pretty dresses. When Black Milk Clothing came out with this dress, I just had to have it.

If you don't like Harry Potter or haven't seen the movies or read the books, you might not know the print, so I'll explain the hidden meaning to you.
Before J. K. Rowling wrote Harry Potter she was a single mom without money or a job and she was heavily depressed. When Harry Potter started to develop she made a personification of her depression; creatures called Dementors, who suck out all your warmth and happiness. To counter this, she invented the Patronus Charm, which is a spell that creates the form of an animal (to everyone his own; Harry Potter for instance, has a stag Patronus), and which is created out of the happiest memory you possess. Well, that's the print on my dress. The Patronus acts as a shield against the dementor.

As a Potter fan, this logically means that this dress, covered in Patronuses, or more clearer, covered in the happiest memories I possess, acts as a shield against my depressions and anxieties. This might be sounding weird but that's how it feels like to me! And I feel like I can conquer the world in this dress. This dress is made out of pure happiness.

Here I'm styling it with a plain black shirt underneath, Sporty Stripes Hosiery (also by Black Milk Clothing), a vintage metal belt, a white petticoat (Starline Lingerie) and navy sailor pumps by Funtasma. I can't remember where I got the hairbow from.

I'm wearing Lime Crime and Mac eyeshadows and Sleek Matte Me lipstick in Party Pink. The necklace was made by me when I was a kid. I found it again recently.

As Dumbledore said: Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

Expecto Patronum!

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

My new baby!

It's been a bit quiet here the past few weeks. To be honest, I've been incredibly busy with my fulltime job all of a sudden. When I get home I'm often too tired to do anything, let alone take pictures and write a new blog post.

So today there's two updates! 

As you might know, Amsterdam is a city famous for its bikes. As I am a bred (not born unfortunately) Amsterdammer, naturally the bike is my usual way of transportation. I'm 23, I don't have a drivers license because I don't need one, and I get around the city by bike. For longer travels I usually take the train. Much cheaper and better for the environment!

(Small bike park near Amsterdam Central Station, source: Best of European Union)

My bike is my baby and I'm usually very attached to it. I like to decorate it with flowers and even though it's usually rusty and rattling somewhere I really like it. My bike is an extension of me! My lovely old rusty flower hippy bike!

I parked it on a bridge in the Amsterdam center yesterday - to the fence. When I came back half an hour later it was completely total loss. Looking at the amount of damage I think a big truck hit it, although I don't know how or why. However, they were gone without leaving a note. Apart from feeling really immobile I was heartbroken and have been sad all day yesterday. Poor bike.. and how am I supposed to get around now?

I got a little bit of money from my parents for passing the year at uni. It was actually meant for a holiday but since I love my bike so much I wanted to go on a biking tour in Belgium I'd thought I'd use it for a new bike! It's still investing in my holiday, right? ;) As I had a day off today I immediately went to buy a new one. I fell in love with a white second hand bike at a bike shop and I am so happy with it! I got wonderful bags for it from my mom and I (of course) decorated it with flowers. Now I have a new baby; it's not rusty and old but pretty and shiney and new and it rides like a dream! I love it. And the best part: the lights work! That's a rare thing considering it's an Amsterdam bike. ;)

Here are some pictures of it:

I don't know how the model is called in English. In Dutch it's 'omafiets', which translates to Granny Bike. It's a bit of an old fashioned but still much used type of ladies bike, especially in Amsterdam. I usually have an omafiets! I like their look and they usually ride pretty well.

The shiney new bags! They'll be awesome for carrying my groceries.

And I could not resist taking a close up of the flowers. They're cheap fake ones but they brighten up my bike nontheless!


Happy outfit: Hobbit Map!

Hi!! I've been very busy with my new job but I had a day off today. I bought a new bike (more on that later!) and when I got home these tights arrived! So I just had to try them and take some pictures.

I've always been a Lord of the Rings fan. When this dress came out at Black Milk Clothing I knew I wanted it. It's not overly Lord of the Rings and can still be recognized as such by people who know a little bit more about it. And, not to mention, I think it's incredibly sexy.
Unfortunately it's gotten too big since I lost some weight. I'm trying to swap it for a smaller size but I've had no luck so far!

The tights are by Black Milk Clothing as well. They arrived today! The shoes are vintage black suede pumps.

Even though this dress is too big, it still shows off my new figure!

..and that makes me happy!

I wore very little makeup today. No foundation, just a little bit of concealer, and a dab of highlighter on the browbone and in the inner corner of the eyes. It's by MAC and it's called Gleam.

And of course, mandatory lipstick (Wicked by Lime Crime), and eyeliner, present as always!
I bought the celtic Triskilian necklace at my new job. You can also order it on the website: Fantasy Shop Chimera.


Monday, 7 July 2014

Happy place: Noordermarkt

Since I suddenly have a very busy day job (of which I've talked about in my last post) I don't really have much time for myself anymore. I am an introvert and sometimes I just need to have a relax day to do things without hurrying and in my own way. Today was one of those days. It was quite simple but I feel charged again for another five days of work!
I went to the Noordermarkt today. It's a fabric and vintage/antique/ethnic market held every Monday in Amsterdam. I often go there to shop for fabrics and habedashery, as it's often crazy cheap there!

Today was just perfect. The weather was really nice and even though I love to be in Nature, I can really appreciate the busy every-day Amsterdam day.

Some of the fabric stands just looked mouthwatering.

Habedashery! I love it.

They also sold fruit and organic stuff! So I had to buy some! Now I see this picture I really regret not buying any cherries. I bought organic spelt pasta, avocados, spelt bread, baked apple chips and hemp seeds though.

I bought chiffon in two colours for my Esmeralda costume, and some decorative bands and beads for her scarf. I'm also busy with a different project that's going to require a lot of work. I needed beads and embroidery silk as I am going to embroider loads and loads. I had a lovely chat with the lady at the stand about embroidery! I will post about my 'new' project later on when I have something more to show you :)

This is everything I bought together on my furry rug. The pink chiffon is for Esmeralda's headscarf, and the purple is for her waist scarf. The gold band below is for on the corset and the band next to it and the beads are for the waist scarf. The embroidery silk and green lace is for my new project. Here's a tiny sneak preview of it.


Friday, 4 July 2014

My new job!

I  really wanted to write a blog post about my new job. I'm thrilled to announce that I currently work at the most beautiful shop in Amsterdam! I took the pictures in this blog post off the website because it's not allowed to take pictures in the shop and I, of course, respect that as an employee.

I have been a regular visitor of Chimera for years and years. I remember when I was about 12 years old, that I would save up for ages to buy jewellery, figurines and art books there. At that time, they still had a shop in a smaller space at the other side of the road. I've left my CV there multiple times, and honestly, if there was one shop in the Netherlands where I would want to work, it would be Chimera.

The ambiance and creative styling of the shop are just breathtaking and very relaxing at the same time. I used to go there and just walk around for an hour or so to calm me down. Even if I didn't have money to buy something, I still liked to be there, just because of the calm atmosphere and the many creative things all around. I guess I could've called this a 'happy place' even before I was actively trying to get better from my depression.

I've been working there for two days now. I must admit that I've got alot shoved up my plate in the first days but I've never really felt stressed because the mood that the shop radiates just calms me down and makes me happy. It makes it very easy to work there and I get inspired by everything around me. Even though my anxieties sometimes make it hard for me to do what I want; this shop helps me to be and stay myself.

This is the view from the counter. Isn't it stunning? Chimera is part of a family business and they haven't really hired anyone in years, so I was very fortunate to get to work here! One of my new colleagues even said that I looked familiar to her - perhaps it was because I've been coming there for years and years! :)

I am incredibly happy! I will be working there full time for two months, and hopefully I can continue on the weekends once I start with my second university year.

I think this could easily be called the job of my dreams. I love it to bits and I am so thrilled to be actually working there! As if you didn't get that earlier ;) I think you could definitely categorize this as a 'happy job'!

You can check out their website here: Fantasy Shop Chimera. If you happen to be in Amsterdam, you should really come and visit us! Even if you don't want to buy anything it's still a beautiful place to visit. Anyway, I hope I will be there to be of service to you!


Tuesday, 1 July 2014

Happy Outfit: Midnight Blossom

I'm already having the best week ever! Despite my anxieties and other problems I managed to pass this university year! I've started 4 different studies and this is the first one in which I actually manage to complete the first year, hehe. It's a good sign!
And I've got a new job and it's going to be awesome. Starting tomorrow! I will post more about that once I've had my first day.

Anyway - time for a new outfit post!

My mom sometimes gives me a bag of old clothing and other stuff that she got from friends . I got this blouse yesterday and I love it! I thought I'd make an outfit with it right away. 

I really like the bell sleeves and the print on it! It has so much detail!

The skirt is actually a dress and is 70s vintage. The petticoat underneath (though not visible here) is by Starline Lingerie. The belt is vintage too (I think 80s) and the shoes are LE replicas of the Ruby Slippers in the Wizard of Oz.

I love the dress too, it has so much flounce in the skirt!

My makeup is all Lime Crime today. The lips are My Beautiful Rocket patted on and the eyeshadows are Lotus Noir, Jade-o-Lade and Parasol from the Chinadoll Palette and Spellbound from the Alchemy Palette.

I hope you like it as much as I do!