Friday, 2 May 2014

I found my happy place!

Around the time that I moved out of my parents' house I started to do better and feel better as I now had my own place. Not that I don't like my parents - I have great respect for them and I love them very much - but we just can't live together in a house, especially me and my stepdad. Let's say it's complicated ;)

Now I realise what a relief it is to have my own place. At my parents I never felt at home (I hid in my room as much as possible), and as I got bullied and laughed at at school  so I felt trapped for years and had no place to go. This manifested into a lot of different problems and for years I felt very, very unhappy.

It doesn't show from my photos, but I am an introvert. I like being together with friends and I like to be with my boyfriend but I need my own space and I need to be alone sometimes in a place where I can feel safe. I am incredibly happy with my house but it is quite small and sometimes it feels a bit dark. Especially in the winter this makes me feel a bit trapped again.

If you are an introvert but feel trapped as well or need a change of scenery sometimes, try to find a serene spot outside not too far from your house! If you don't have a garden, pick a spot in a park nearby, or even somewhere on a bench with a nice view. You can just go there to read a book, or picnic with yourself (of course you can bring a friend too!). I used to go to the park around the block but I actually had a little space just outside the door that I walked past every day. It just needed a little work.

My garden is very small but I have just enough space to sit, drink some tea and read a book or paint. And it's very sunny in the afternoon! It's the perfect spot to breathe and relax, and the perfect spot to be happy.

I bought this cute bench too, with a bit of funding from my grandpa! I'm going to paint more flowers on it!

Everything I planted is growing really fast and I can't wait to see what it looks like in the summer! This is called 'Bleeding Heart' and it used to grow in the garden of my grandparents old house - when I see it I think back of the happy summers I spent there running around and picking flowers as a little kid.

In the middle is my herb garden! I love fresh herbs and I found some mint plants, forget-me-nots and chives growing in the wild when I dug out the weeds, so I dug them out and repotted them. The other plants in there are rosemary, lemon balm (great for tea!), lavender, oregano and thyme. I wanted basil too but it's hard to grow them in the Amsterdam climate.
On the far left you can see that I took out some tiles and I planted a butterfly bush there and some periwinkle. I hope the periwinkle will eventually creep all over the earth and under the hedge and bloom! The butterfly bush is already growing very fast and it'll be huge and full of flowers in summer! And it smells lovely too!

I have two pots next to my couch with a climbing jasmine and clematis. I've stringed wire all around my window and I hope they'll grow quick and become a lovely rain of pretty flowers! Because they still look kind of dull as they're small and not in bloom yet I planted some campanula flowers in the pot as well so I have flowers anyway :)

I'm very happy about my 'happy place' and I've already spent a lot of time there. My cats love it too!


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